


OUTRAGEOUS BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!

by feitan



Category: Arslan Senki | Heroic Legend of Arslan
Genre: Black Friday, SAVINGS, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-01 20:25:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5219651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feitan/pseuds/feitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryun, Farangis, and Narsus go shopping on Black Friday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> mmmmmm yeah just

The time was 10:30pm on November 26th, Thanksgiving. Daryun, Narsus, and Farangis had just finished tucking their three children into bed. The only reason that the kids had been allowed to stay up so much later than usual was because it was a holiday and Elam had made a huge Thanksgiving dinner entirely by himself.

As they exited the kids’ room, Farangis just happened to catch a glimpse of the Official Arslan Senki 2015 Wall Calendar they had hung on the living room wall. She noticed that the following day’s date, the 27th, had been circled in red sharpie multiple times. She didn’t say anything, just stood in place and narrowed her eyes at it for a few seconds before grabbing Narsus’s shoulder as he walked past her. Narsus was not expecting this and flinched a little, hoping that nobody noticed this.

“Narsus,” she stated, not moving her eyes from the calendar. Narsus looked at her before following her gaze. Then he gasped, turning to Daryun.

“Daryun! How could you have forgotten?!” he shouted.

“Narsus! You’re going to wake the children!” Daryun shouted back, at an even louder volume.

Farangis grabbed them and threw them both over her shoulders. She carried them away from the childrens’ room and into the kitchen. She set Narsus down on the kitchen island and dropped Daryun on the floor. There was simply no room for the large man anywhere else. “Now,” she spoke as she crossed her arms. “What are we going to do? As I’m sure you two noticed, tomorrow is Black Friday, noted as the first day of traditional Christmas shopping, during which crowds of consumers are drawn to special offers by retailers.”

“Obviously,” Narsus began, “we will be taking advantage of the outrageous deals offered on Black Friday!”

Daryun picked himself up off the cold, lonely kitchen floor and stood before his friends. “But where will we go?!”

Farangis laid a reassuring hand on Daryun’s muscular arm. “We will figure it out when we get there.”

Narsus nodded in agreement and suddenly hopped off the counter. “Let us go now, to beat the crowds!” he proclaimed, heading towards the front door. He grabbed the keys off the keyrack, but Daryun took them from him before he could get any further.

“We cannot just leave the children here alone in the middle of the night!” Daryun protested. “What if there is an emergency!”

“They won’t be alone,” Narsus said, smiling and pointing to the couch where Gieve was sound asleep. “Gieve can handle any emergencies.” This, however, only made Daryun more agitated. 

“It will be alright,” Farangis assured him. “I will leave the children a note.” She then pulled a piece of paper and a feather pen out of her pocket and wrote up a quick note. It read:

"Arslan, Elam, Alfreed, and Gieve,

I, Farangis, am writing you this note to inform you of the fact that I have gone out with Daryun and Narsus for the evening. Please do not leave the house and please do not allow Gieve to leave the house under any circumstances. We will return shortly."

 

Daryun and Narsus signed the note as well, and it was left on the kitchen counter after Narsus had finished making fun of Daryun for his handwriting.

After that had been taken care of, the three of them headed out to the minivan. Narsus sat in the backseat by himself. Farangis plugged the AUX cord into her silver iPhone 6s and played White Walls by Macklemore (feat. ScHoolboy Q and Hollis) as they drove through the city in search of the most outrageous Black Friday savings. The time was now 11:00pm.


	2. Chapter 2

Not soon after they’d left, Arslan had awoken from a terrible nightmare about a really ugly masked man trying to behead him. He got out of bed and went out into the living room in search of Farangis because she always made him hot chocolate when he dreamed about ugly masked men trying to behead him. 

When he wandered into the kitchen, he noticed the note sitting on the counter and read it. After doing that, he ran back into the room he shared with Elam and Alfreed. He walked over to Elam’s bed and started shaking his friend violently.

“Elam!” he whispered urgently. “Elam wake up!”

Elam awakened immediately, sitting straight up. “YOUR HIGHNESS” he said very loudly. 

Arslan shoved the note in Elam’s face. “They’re gone, Elam! They left us with Gieve! We’re going to die!”

Elam took the note from Arslan and read it thoroughly. Then, he lept out of bed as well. “This is terrible!” he shouted. “What if Lord Narsus is driving! They’re going to die as well!”

“What do we do?!” Arslan asked him, struggling to not cry. 

Elam walked over to Alfreed’s bed and began to shake her violently. After he received no response from the girl, he yelled “Lord Narsus is in trouble!”

Alfreed awoke with a start. “Lord Narsus is in trouble?!”

Elam and Arslan both nodded solemnly.

“Then what are you fools doing just standing there?!” she asked, pulling a dagger from the pocket of her pajamas. “Let’s go save him!”

“And Daryun and Farangis!” Arslan added. However, he realized his mistake when a loud crash came from the living room and Gieve appeared in the doorway of their bedroom.

“Lady Farangis is in trouble?!” he asked, sweating. 

Elam nodded again. “She left this,” he said, handing over the note.

When Gieve finished reading the note, he was fuming, seething, boiling, overflowing with rage directed at Daryun and Narsus. How dare they go out with Farangis when he’d been trying to win her over for years! He felt betrayed, insulted! He crumpled the note in his sweaty hands and pointed to the door. “Everyone, in the car!”

 

“Y’know, they probably took the car,” Elam said, staring disappointedly at the destroyed note, now discarded onto the floor.

“Damn, you’re right,” said Gieve, putting his hand on his chin like people do when they’re thinking really hard. Suddenly, it hit him. “We’ll just have to take Shabrang!”

“But there’s four of us!” Alfreed pointed out. Shabrang was a big horse, but there was no way that was going to work.

Gieve didn’t actually want to have to drag a bunch of deadweight children around, so this didn’t bother him. “I’ll just have to go by myself, then! You three stay here and guard the house!” Before the children could protest, he turned and sprinted out the garage door. He and Shabrang were gone within 3 seconds flat, and the kids were left staring at the spot where Gieve used to be. Suddenly, Arslan screamed. 

“We let Gieve leave the house!”

Elam, who lowkey expected this to happen, was not phased. “That’s his own fault! The important thing is that we stay here and guard the house!”

“Yeah!” shouted Alfreed as she pulled yet another dagger from her pocket. “We’ll do it for Narsus!”

Arslan wasn’t really sure what they were supposed to be guarding the house from, but he agreed nonetheless.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im not finishing this im sorry

After driving around for twenty seven minutes, Daryun suggested that they stop somewhere soon. 

Farangis picked up thing on her necklace (i don’t know what to call it. but you know what im talking about) and blew into it. After a few seconds of silence, she pointed to a nearby Toys R Us. “There.”

“YES” Daryun agreed loudly.

Narsus had fallen asleep in the back seat and was snoring loudly. When Daryun parked the car and got out, he opened Narsus’s door to wake him up. 

“NARSUS. IT IS TIME TO GO.” he said, boldly. 

Narsus awoke with a start and nearly fell out of the car. This always happened whenever Daryun had to wake anyone up because he had no subtlety. 

By this time, Farangis was already at the storefront and staring blankly at the sliding doors. Inside the Toys R Us was a massive crowd of moms and grandmothers desperately trying to snag the hottest new toy of the season for their children/grandchildren. However, they were all destined to fail because Farangis knew that she would be the one to snag the hottest new toy of the season. She drew her dagger and entered the store, ready to fight.

When Narsus and Daryun made it to the doors, they too stopped and stared in horror at what they saw inside. But they knew that facing this was necessary if they wanted to get spectacular Christmas presents for their kids. After donning his armor and war helmet, Daryun raised his spear high above his head. He was about to yell “YASHASUIIN” but Narsus cut him off.

“You don’t have to do this every time we go to the store.”

Daryun was about to respond, but was cut off again by the familiar sound of a horse’s whinny. He looked behind him at the figure swiftly approaching them. It was his beloved Shabrang, and Gieve! Daryun gasped because if Gieve was here, that meant that there was no one at home with the children! After Gieve and Shabrang raced past them and into the store, Daryun began sprinting after them. Narsus pulled his iPhone from his pocket and sent a text to Elam as he leisurely followed Daryun into the store.

Narsus: you let gieve leave the house

Not more than 3 seconds later, he got a reply. 

Elam: im sorry lord narsus! we tried to stop him  
Elam: but he was just too passionate about going to save lady farangis  
Narsus: shes fine  
Elam: is gieve?  
Narsus: daryun is chasing him  
Elam: :O!  
Narsus: whatever  
Narsus: call me if theres any emergencies  
Elam: okay! (thumbs up emoji)

Elam was happy that Narsus had not told him to go back to sleep because this meant that he could stay up all night and play Cooking Mama 5 on his 3DS. 

Narsus put his phone back in his pocket but almost immediately pulled it back out and sent another message.

Narsus: also go back to sleep its like midnight why are you even up  
Elam: arslan woke me up  
Elam: he was crying because you guys had left  
Narsus: yikes  
Narsus: anyway good luck i gotta go. daryun is scaring people again

Narsus turned his phone off, put it back in his pocket, and looked around for Daryun. As usual, he found him threatening some poor soul with his battle spear and surrounded by terrified onlookers. He sighed because he knew he’d have to confiscate all of Daryun’s weapons if they wanted to make it through the store without getting arrested again.

Meanwhile, Gieve was frantically searching the store for Farangis. Who knew what kind of trouble she could be in?! Suddenly, Gieve felt something large shove him off the horse and onto the cold Toys R Us tile floor. The horse continued on by itself, but now Daryun stood before him. 

“GIEVE” Daryun shouted, pointing his spear at Gieve. 

“Daryun” said Gieve. He didn’t have a weapon because he was still in his pajamas. He’d have to count on his quick wits to get him out of this situation!

“YOU STOLE MY HORSE?!” darun demanded, furious. He’d forgotten about the fact that Gieve had also left a bunch of kids at home, unsupervised. 

“Oh, that was your horse?” Gieve asked, laughing nervously. All of a sudden, his phone got a text notification. He held up his hand to signal to Daryun that he had to answer this important text message immediately. What if it was from Farangis! However, it was just Narsus. 

Narsus: what the fuck are you doing  
Gieve: i borrowed daryuns horse and now he’s trying to kill me  
Narsus: why did you borrow daryuns horse  
Narsus: if you wanted something from toys r us you could have just asked  
Narsus: how did you find us here anyway

Gieve wasn’t going to reply to that, but even if he wanted to he would not have had tjme because Daryun yelled something and tried to stab him. The nerve of some people

Unfortunately, gieve avoided the stab and sprinted into a different aisle to hide. This was almost not worth it! Come to think of it, he wasn’t even sure if Farangis was here! He grabbed his phone and decided to ask. 

Gieve: lady farangis!  
Farangis: are the kids in trouble  
Gieve: no, i was just wondering where you are!   
Farangis: okay

Gieve waited for another reply, but one never came. He’d have to take matters into his own grubby little hands!!

Gieve: are you by any chance at toys r us?  
Farangis: yes  
Farangis: did you want something  
Gieve: just the chance to rescue you from the heinous clutches of evil (narsus and daryun)  
Farangis: what

However, Gieve did not see this last message because Daryun had caught up to him and took the phone from his clammy hands. He hated having to do this because Gieves hands were always really gross and sweaty, and so was his phone. 

Gieve screeched and rolled out of the way before standing up, once again. He then decided that whatever he was even there for wasn’t worth all of this harassment, and made a break for the door. He was without a horse now, so he’d just have to sprint all the way home. 

Daryun watched as gieve fled the building. He shoved Gieve’s phone into his mouth, chewed it, and swallowed it. All in a day’s work, he thought to himself. 

Across the store, Farangis was the only one actually making any progress. She’d stolen found a discarded shopping card and filled it with anything she came across that seemed to qualify as an “outrageous black friday deal”. Her cart was filled with water guns, dolls, building blocks, remote control cars, that kind of useless stuff. She watched silently as two middle aged women battled over a Transformers figure. One had already sustained grave wounds, and looked like she was going to give in soon. However, Farangis understood her struggle and sympathized with it. She decided to intervene, punching the other woman in the face. Once she had given the toy to the other woman, she turned back to her cart and went gracefully on her way. She briefly wondered how the kids were doing, since apparently Gieve had left them alone. After pulling her iPhone from her pocket, she sent a text to Arslan.

Farangis: is everything alright  
Arslan: yes everything is fine!!! dont worry!!!!

This sounded really suspicious because hardly anything doesn’t go wrong when the children are left alone. Farangis narrowed her eyes.

Farangis: how is gieve  
Arslan: haha what do you mean! hes gieve. gieve is always fine  
Farangis: i suppose thats true  
Farangis: i meant more along the lines of  
Farangis: what is gieve doing  
Arslan: who ever knows what gieve is doing! hahah!!  
Farangis: thats also true  
Farangis: well it sounds like you have the situation under control  
Farangis: let me know if anything happens  
Arslan: will do!!! c:

Arslan let out a sigh of relief after the conversation was over. He was worried about the repercussions of letting Gieve leave when the note they had been left said specifically to not let Gieve leave! He was really proud of himself for convincing Farangis that he had the situation under control even though 5 minutes earlier he’d been crying into a mug of hot chocolate that Elam had made him. Currently, he was seated on the couch watching Alfreed play Mario Kart. They only had one Wii remote because Daryun had crushed the other 4. Speaking of Daryun, almost immediately after the previous conversation had ended, Arslan received another message.

Daryun: Is everything alright  
Arslan: yes!!!  
Daryun: Are you sure  
Arslan: im just sitting on the couch. im fine   
Daryun: Are the other two with you?  
Arslan: yes! alfreed is playing video games and i am not because Farangis said it was bad to play video games past bedtime :c  
Arslan: and elam is asleep on the floor in front of the door  
Daryun: Um  
Daryun: Is he alright  
Arslan: he said narsus told him to go to sleep!  
Arslan: make sure not to step on him when you come home  
Daryun: I will try  
Arslan: :/  
Arslan: oh yeah where did you guys go!!  
Daryun: We went  
Daryun: To  
Daryun: The store  
Arslan: the store?  
Daryun: That’s correct  
Arslan: alright :3c  
Daryun: What is that  
Arslan: never mind

Suddenly from outside the front door came a series of loud crashes. Someone must have been outside! Arslans fears were confirmed when the door handle started to jiggle violently. It was locked, thankfully, but it still scared the poor child. Upon hearing the strange sounds, Alfreed paused her game of Mario Kart and put down her Wii remote. She sprinted to the door, picked up Elam, and threw him over her shoulder. He woke up and was screaming. She continued sprinting towards their shared bedroom and dropped Elam onto the floor when she got there. Then, she went back for Arslan and did the same thing to him. He was screaming too. When they were both out of harm’s way, she shut the door and went back into the living room. She once again withdrew the dagger from her pajama pocket. Nearing the door, she could hear the intruder yelling something about opening the door. However, Alfreed was smarter than that. She’d indirectly promised to keep the house safe while the adults were gone, so that's what she was going to do!

On the other side of the door, was a very unfortunate Gieve struggling to open the door with his brute strength, which he didn’t have very much of. In his haste to save Farangis, he’d accidentally left his house key inside! He was just hoping one of the children would be generous enough to open the door for him, but he doubted it. 

“Hey!” he shouted, “It’s Gieve! Let me in!”

“Like I’d fall for that!” Alfreed shouted back on the other side of the door. “Even Gieve would never be stupid enough to forget his house key!” She finished this statement by stabbing her dagger through the door, nearly going through Gieve’s hand. He screamed.

“Just look at the key rack! My key should still be there!”

Alfreed looked over towards the key rack, and sure enough, there was Gieve’s customized key. It was that one shade of purple and and had the word “Gieve” on it in cursive. Alfreed rolled her eyes and opened the door. Gieve gave her a dirty look as he walked in and immediately collapsed back onto the couch and fell asleep. He had just almost gotten stabbed, sprinted 7 miles, almost gotten stabbed again and he was tired. Alfreed got out her phone and took a picture of Gieve because he looked really ugly. She tried to send the picture to Narsus but it wouldn’t deliver, so she figured he had his phone off again. She sent it to Farangis and Daryun instead. 

Alfreed: 1 Image Attachment  
Farangis: what is that thing  
Alfreed: it’s gieve!!  
Daryun: Is he dead  
Alfreed: im not sure :/ let me check  
Alfreed: ok i kicked him in the shin and he screamed a little and then went back to sleep  
Daryun: What a shame  
Farangis: agreed  
Alfreed: are you guys gonna be home soon? these dweebs keep bugging me and i wanna go to sleep  
Farangis: we will be home eventually

Farangis put her phone on silent because she was busy fighting old women for childrens toys. 

Alfreed: what does that mean!!!!!  
Alfreed: HEY!!!!!!!

However, Daryun did not reply either because he was busy sprinting through the various aisles, shoving bystanders out of the way. He had realized that they had been there for almost an hour, and not accomplished a single thing.


End file.
